I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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