so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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