so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize