let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
