Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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