Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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