i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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