Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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