Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
