I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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