Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
