Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
