Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
