Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
