he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
