obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
