hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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