Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
