I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
