Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
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