And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
