how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
