I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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