i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
