I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
