Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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