Cold hands, warm shart.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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