she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
