Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
