Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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