"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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