3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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