i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
