I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
