Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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