Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
