just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
