We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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