Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
