okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
