have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
