How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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