I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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