Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
