i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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