i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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