Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
