Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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