my mouth tastes like poor choices
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
