your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
